I cannot write with abandon. That is, I cannot, CAN NOT simply write with no clear sense of where my writing is going, internal editor turned off, writing just to get all of my ideas out. This is, by turns, detrimental and self-preserving.
Imagine some amazing athlete, Jackie Joyner or Appollo Ono perhaps, entering their respective arenas. Imagine they have no restraints in place as to how they will exert themselves--gear fastened haphazardly, limbs wildly moving, lightening-speed chaos. While it would be fascinating to watch, and momentarily, satisfyingly exertive (exhortive, even??), they could be hurt! Seriously, or at the very least, completely wrung out, over-stretched...
Being a, as I've heard the term expressed, constant mental blogger,wouldn't I wear myself out if I didn't provide myself with restraints? And imagine the butchered grammar, senseless mispellings, tragic nonsensical exploration of ideas that could ensue... I might even discover things hidden deep inside myself, potentials I've never thought to plunder, much less exploit.
Hmm. This could be delicious. It could be fascinating to be wreckless with sound and image. Irresponsible with puns. Think ee cummings. Think Dr. Seuss. Think... well, no. Don't think. That's the detrimental, isn't it? Overthinking, overwringing, over-doing.
I'd love to explore these thoughts, these imaginings. Maybe I will. Later, when I don't have a million demands, like kids to pick up, set down, change, bathe, feed, entertain, nourish... Because it's almost lunch time and a storm is brewing so everyones antsy,even me.
So, I'll post. My first rambling, not perfectly finished, unedited, haven't thought out or tied together blog. For me, this is a big step.